Girls Aloud Finally Call It Quits

From Twitter:

Dear Alouders, we just want to say from the bottom of our hearts Thank you!! This tour has been an amazing experience and the perfect chance to say thank you for being on this journey with us through a decade. It has far exceeded any of our dreams and we hope we are forever your inspiration and reminder that dreams really do glitter!! Your love and support will stay with us forever but we have now come to the end of our incredible time together . Love you lots. 

 LOL.

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UK Chart Roundup: There's Nowhere To Go But Down For Girls Aloud (Business As Usual)

It's a relatively blase week on the UK singles roundup; Olly Murs' "Troublemaker" retains its #1 position while the X Factor alum's third LP Right Place Right Time debuts atop the album chart. Meanwhile, Girls Aloud's "comeback" appears to be going the way of a bargain basement hooker after a bachelor party (read: dismembered and in a landfill), as "Something New" plummets from last week's #2 debut to #14.

Elsewhere, the bimbo brigade's useless hits package Ten flops onto the album chart at #9. Sorry, Girls, no one wants your re-fried, cynical Christmas cash-in.

The UK Top 10:

1. "Troublemaker" - Olly Murs feat. Flo Rida *2 weeks*
2. "Locked Out Of Heaven" - Bruno Mars
3. "Diamonds" - Rihanna
4. "Beneath Your Beautiful" - Labrinth feat. Emeli Sande
5. "Girl On Fire" - Alicia Keys
6. "The Power Of Love" - Gabrielle Aplin
7. "Candy" - Robbie Williams
8. "Gangnam Style" - PSY
9. "Little Things" - One Direction
10. "Die Young" - Ke$ha *new*

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Girls Aloud Offer Up More Unlistenable Noise With "Every Now And Then"

Yesterday I pointed out the solid fact that Girls Aloud's "On The Metro" was only the third good song they've recorded in their 10-year career. This caused tweeter @JulianRupert to unfollow me. But as I've stated before, I'm not here to win a popularity contest; I'm here to keep it real and unmask the truths about pop. It's all for you, Damien!

@chartrigger @michaelcragg I'm sorry, I actually did unfollow you :(I can't support someone who claims GA have 3 'good' songs
— Jules Baddeley (@JulianRupert) November 25, 2012

So anyway, case in point, below you'll find the Xenomania-produced "Every Now And Then," one of the four new songs on GA's shameless "comeback" collection of flops,  Ten (out today in the UK). Generic piddle is putting it kindly.

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UK Chart Roundup: Olly Murs Cock-Blocks Over-The-Hill Ho Brigade Girls Aloud With "Troublemaker"

Olly Murs earns the fourth #1 of his two-year recording career with "Troublemaker," the lead single off upcoming album Right Place Right Time, on the UK chart. I've gone on before about what a proper pop tune this one is, though it could do with having the utterly useless Flo Rida rap scraped off it.

According to the Official Charts Company, the 121,000 copies "Troublemaker" sold put it "well ahead" of Girls Aloud's comeback single "Something New," which has to settle for a #2 entry. This doesn't surprise me in the least, since the latter sounds like five alley cats in heat howling to be ass-rammed by Garfield. (Really, the 10-legged ho troupe should have gone with "On The Metro" as the lead single.)

Over on the album chart, Rihanna's Unapologetic becomes her fourth LP to hit #1 in the UK after selling 100,000 copies.

The UK Top 10:

1. "Troublemaker" - Olly Murs feat. Flo Rida *new* *1 week*
2. "Something New" - Girls Aloud *new*
3. "Little Things" - One Direction
4. "Beneath Your Beautiful" - Labrinth feat. Emeli Sande
5. "Girl On Fire" - Alicia Keys *new*
6. "Gangnam Style" - PSY
7. "The Power Of Love" - Gabrielle Aplin
8. "Candy" - Robbie Williams
9. "Locked Out Of Heaven" - Bruno Mars
10. ""Diamonds" - Rihanna

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Girls Aloud's "On The Metro": The Third Good Song Of Their 10-Year Career

Throughout the British group's 10-year history, Girls Aloud has churned out some wretched cack and passed it off as music. But occasionally, on rare occasions, they've released some pretty decent singles (see: "Call The Shots" and "The Loving Kind").

The broads' new greatest hits collection, Ten, contains another entry in the sparse "good Girls Aloud" category, thanks to new song "On The Metro."  Unfortunately, it's not lined up as their follow-up single to "Something New." Oh, well — missed flopportunity if you ask me. Listen below!

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Girls Aloud Premiere "Something New" Video & 'Ten' Hits Collection Tracklist

Ten-legged skank brigade Girls Aloud are back kind of half-assed to celebrate their decade anniversary. They're tossing out an 18-track greatest hits package called Ten on November 26 in the UK, and included are four new songs — including the single "Something New."

Here's the slutty video for that one:

And below is the Ten tracklist. I'd just download "The Loving Kind" and "Call The Shots" if you don't already have them, and skip everything else.

1. Something New
2. The Promise
3. The Loving Kind
4. Untouchable
5. Sexy! No No No…
6. Call The Shots
7. Can’t Speak French
8. Something Kinda Ooooh
9. Biology
10. The Show
11. Love Machine
12. I’ll Stand By You
13. Jump
14. No Good Advice
15. Sound Of The Underground
16. On The Metro
17. Beautiful ‘Cause You Love Me
18. Every Now And Then

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What's This Girls Aloud "Something New" Bullshit?

Who the fuck greenlit this "Party Rock Anthem" knockoff?

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Girls Aloud Are Back To Give Us More Pop That Will Never Be As Good As Spice Girls

Cheryl Cole and those other four strippers who couldn't find work when Girls Aloud took a three-year break are back together to inflict mediocrity upon the gullible pop-hungry once again. And, look at that — not only has it been 10 years since these broads were manufactured on UK program Pop Stars: The Rivals, their brand new Twitter account is threatening something or other called Ten.

This trash would be easily handled by one simple pay-per-view event: five bimbos, 10 legs, one stripper pole — have at it, ladies.

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